How many times have you heard yourself repeat the title over and over again when something bad happened to you? Plenty, right? At least I have used this pretty recently. I had a test on Monday due at 11 pm. I thought that the test was due on Monday at 11 pm of the coming week. I got to know this at 5:30 pm the day that the test was due. I double checked then to make sure that the news wasn’t correct when in fact I should have done this earlier to make sure that I had the correct test date in mind. I freaked out (obviously!) I hadn’t studied as much as I had thought I should (obviously again, who studies a week before the test is apparently due?!) but I had to give the test. All the way back to home from the classes, I told myself that I will be fine and will do great on the test (false belief, I know..lol) but it helped me keep my calm, study for a couple of hours and give the test.
So how do psychologists explain the term “coping”? According to them, coping is the general term that people use to deal with trauma and go back to functioning effectively in life. People have different strategies which they use to cope with situations that turn out to be bad. And coping with the disturbed emotional state of affairs is important to be able to deal with reality in a coherent manner. Sometimes when someone’s house is robbed or a wallet is stolen, people aren’t as much affected by the financial loss incurred as much as they are affected by their dissonance in the world beliefs. Ronnie Janoff-Bulman (1992) calls such beliefs, assumptive worlds- the view that people live in social worlds based on certain beliefs (assumptions) about reality.
According to Janoff-Bulman, assumptive worlds theory consists of three kinds of assumptions that people live with:
1.) The world is benevolent: people are good, surroundings are good, good things will happen to me.
2.) The world is fair and just: the world is fair and if you treat other people fairly, they will treat you in the same manner.
3.) I am a good person: I am someone of value and therefore deserve to have good things happen to me.
When something bad happens, like your wallet is stolen or like me if you mistake the date of the test, these beliefs are disrupted. And in order to ensure effective coping, one tries to figure out how to explain the misfortune while still believing in the assumptions. One tries to attribute the misfortune to oneself (Bulman and Wortman, 1977). This can be a pretty effective technique if there is a clear distinction made between blaming oneself for actions as opposed to blaming oneself for being a bad person. When I mistook the test-date, I attributed the mistake to myself saying that if I take proper care the next time, this won’t happen again, instead of saying that I am bad (btw, I know that I am good.. most of the times..lol) and thus only bad things should happen to me and that world is no more a good place to live in!
So folks, bad things happen, misfortunes occur and our hearts are broken sometimes, but the world isn’t all that bad you know?! It has some amazing people and things worth living for <3. Just taking few corrective measures, can make us live happily with those people and things J
Still believing in the world around me,
Nupur
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